So about a week or so back, I asked on Instagram for all of your burning questions in regards to my story. No topic was off limits when it came to adoption, pregnancy, and my life now. Here are some of the most FAQs!
What does your daughter call you?
I probably get asked this more than any other question. No, she does not call me mom. She calls me LaLa. Bethany is her mom, and I am her LaLa. This is a name she gave me. She knows she grew in my belly, but she knows her momma is Bethany.
How often do you get to see her?
Jeff and Bethany (Kinley’s parents) have been so amazing to allow me to have an active part in her life. Every time I’m in Tulsa, I get to spend time with her. They have been so incredible to allow me to see her anytime I ask. I love seeing her! It is like a shot of caffeine.
How did you tell your parents you were pregnant?
Well this answer is too long to put in the blog. Our book, Joy Will Come, has all the details, but let’s just say it made for a very long, tearful, hurtful Saturday for all involved.
Do you ever regret your decision?
There are dark days. Almost seven years later, there are days where my heart is as broken as the day she left the hospital with her new family. But I never regret my decision. I can stand firm in the fact that God told me to place her for adoption. I can stand firm that she has the best family and is so well loved. I can stand firm that even in my pain, God is holding my daughter, and He is holding me.
How did you cope after giving her up?
Jesus. Honestly. Jesus, counseling, my family, prayers, anti-depressants, more Jesus, and getting back to a new normal. The first year of her life was the hardest year of my life. It was harder than the previous year of walking out a teenage pregnancy. It was a year of constantly allowing myself to feel the emotions but then giving those emotions back over to Jesus and taking one more step forward. Pain wants to isolate you. Pain wants to make you feel like no one understands, but there is a Jesus who does! You must keep moving forward. For me, moving forward looked like going to counseling every week and getting short-term medicine to help me. Moving forward looked like crying in my dorm room every night but making it to class the next morning. Moving forward looked like attending church and joining a small group so I wouldn’t be so alone.
Want to know more about my story? Want to hear more about how God turned my pain into joy? Buy our book Joy Will Come! It is our story from the perspective of myself, my mom, and my aunt Bethany, (Kinley’s mom). Books for sale at scarletpepin.com.